Nobody likes performance reviews. Do you?
Well, you aren’t an oddball if you fret when the time comes to take stock of how you have been doing and if your contribution at the workplace is being appreciated. Strangely, the apprehension is on both sides – subordinates are edgy about asking their managers fearing criticism from them, and bosses on their part also avoid rocking the boat and steer clear from their direct reports responding with stonewalling, resistance, argument, or heartburn. It emerges then that not just during annual performance appraisals when review meetings are the norm, but also in course of regular performance, most executives desist from seeking feedback. The consequence? People fear the worst, clam up, or second guess without clarifying or taking measures to open up channels of communication, addressing issues, and improving performance.
Fears of feedback, often unfounded ones, tend to manifest themselves in psychologically maladaptive behaviors such as brooding, denial, jealousy, procrastination, and self-sabotage. The ones with greater professional outlook and emotional control learn to adapt to feedback by way of acknowledging negative emotions that it brings in its wake, constructively reframing criticism, developing realistic goals, freeing themselves from old patterns, and embracing change. Others simply hit a downward spiral. So, it merits exploring why such a large section of the world’s workforce is hesitant about listening to how they are faring in their work-life from people in the know. Psychologists tell us, in general, we are sensitive about hearing and coming to terms with our own imperfections and shortcomings. The anxiety is actually deep-rooted and accrues from childhood experiences of critical comments and punitive action from teachers and parents. However, there are executives sharing excellent equation with their bosses, who build themselves up on feedback, improve performance, and advance their careers.
The majority who dread performance reviews and feedback end up exhibiting negative behavior patterns, such as those enumerated below:
Procrastination – People usually procrastinate consciously, feeling helpless about a particular situation that they consider beyond their ken or control. This triggers off more anxiety, embarrassment, anger, or hostility.
Denial – This usually unconscious response stems from people’s inability or unwillingness to face reality or recognize both long-term and immediate implications of situations they are in.
Brooding – Encountering situations they cannot get a handle on, brooders nurture morbid preoccupation, lapse into passivity, and even isolate themselves. They engineer their self- fulfilling prophecy, withdraw association of colleagues, and in turn end up being misread and ignored by them.
Jealousy – When people compare themselves with others, it isn’t so much a bad thing as when they do that with envy, suspicion, and malice. Over-reacting to the way the bosses perceive or praise performance of superior colleagues, some people let the green-eyed monster consume them. In doing so, they debilitate themselves further.
Self-sabotage – Our workplaces are streaming with people who unconsciously undercut themselves. They are hoisted by their own petards when, instead of working on the feedback, they plumb newer depths of negativity, inviting further damage that validates their innermost feelings of unworthiness.
Too many organizations in our times are witnessing socially-unacceptable and professionally-condemned behaviors that are a part of a larger vicious cycle affecting the work environment. It goes without saying, adapting to feedback with its underpinning of change, is easier said than done. Resisting change is endemic in humans, as also misgivings about coping with the ordeal. However, it is critical to get our minds to think positively of change, following techniques that alter our response to feedback and the changes it calls for. This is all the more crucial for members in roles, organizations, and industries that are in nascent stages or are undergoing frequent transitions.
One of the best ways to deal with the dreaded performance review is to learn to change one’s response to it, “neutralizing fears, assumptions, and avoidance tactics”. To achieve this and to use feedback for the very constructive purpose it is intended, executives could consider trying out the following to their advantage:
Recognize emotions and fears honestly and work on them, instead of disguising them or brushing them aside. Over time, these emotions are less difficult to experience, and their sinister impact on behavior too weakens.
Reframe the feedback constructively, defusing the intensity of the negative emotions and focusing on the course-correction angle for enhancing competency.
Seek support from confidants, trusted ones, or a mentor who will lend a patient ear, encourage, and offer concrete suggestions. Difficult as it may seem, especially if one is in a senior role and is expected to be self-reliant, one won’t be any the wiser not reaching out to someone for advice and emotional anchoring.
Break up the task of dealing with a holistic feedback into smaller manageable chunks, ascribing milestones with realistic time horizons. Taking small but definite goal-driven steps reduces chances of being overwhelmed or drowning in despair.
Once we learn to alter our response and adapt to change, it’s time to start seeking periodic feedback from superiors to drive ahead, instead of waiting for the annual review to come around. After all, where is it written that feedback process is a wholly negative ritual?
September 2015
Based on HBR South Asia OnPoint August 2015 – January 2016 ‘Fear of Feedback’ by Jay M. Jackman, psychiatrist and HR consultant in Stanford, California, and Myra H. Strober, professor at Stanford University’s School of Education.