Is it better to be loved or feared? It’s a question people pondered over centuries in myriad forms and contexts. And that included Machiavelli too, who opined, “It may be answered that one should wish to be both, but because it is difficult to unite them in one person, it is much safer to be feared than loved.”
Behavioral scientists say Machiavelli had it partly right. Essentially while judging others, more so leaders, we tend to be guided by two predominant traits in their persona: how lovable they are (their warmth, ability to connect, or trustworthiness) and how fearsome they are (their strength or competence). There is considerable disagreement among researchers about the labels of these characteristics, but they are unanimous in conceding that these are two primary dimensions of social judgement. In doing that people also attempt answering two critical questions “What are this person’s intentions towards me?” and “Is he or she capable of acting on these emotions?” Our emotional and behavioral reactions to other people and groups are largely mediated and driven by our response to these questions.
In the world of business, many leaders are wont to projecting or riding on their credentials, strength, and competence even before establishing trust or respect. Reportedly, despite sound credentials, leaders who lack in warmth tend to elicit fear, resentment and a host of dysfunctional behaviours. Warmth can be a valuable conduit of influence. Superior leadership involves displaying warmth first and then demonstrating strength. Fear can destroy employees’ cognitive potential, creativity, absorption of ideas, problem-solving and decision-making abilities – even causing them to underperform and disengage over time.
For greater clarity, let us study the two scenarios:
When strength comes first: When an experiment required people to describe an event that shaped their self-image, most of them told stories emphasizing their competence and strength. However, these very people chose to describe events for others that focused on their warmth and generosity. In essence, it is the latter we first look out for in others. A workplace that has its leader functioning without a foundation of trust and warmth also has its people outwardly complying with the leader’s wishes. They are less likely to genuinely embrace and adopt the organization’s vision, values, and culture. Such a place will have a culture of every employee selfishly competing to project their competence and protecting their own interest.
When warmth comes first: Whether we like it or not, people decide what they think of us even before they decide what they think of our message. Princeton social psychologist Alex Todorov and team studied the cognitive and neural mechanisms that drive our ‘spontaneous trait inferences’, i.e. the snap judgements we make instantly looking at faces. Their research shows that even in the world of business trust paves the way for effective exchange and acceptance of ideas and cooperation. It can even change people’s inherent attitude and beliefs, not just their outward behavior. Difficult as it may seem, the best way to gain influence is to combine warmth and strength, as they can be mutually reinforcing. Personal strength can actually make one confident and calm – in turn empowering one to project authenticity and warmth. A Harvard executive- education program revealed most effective business leaders have lower cortisol levels (associated with stress and stress reactivity) owing to a heightened sense of control. University of Oregon research showed such leaders are ‘happy warriors’ in the business warfront. They face trouble without themselves being troubled. How a leader presents himself in the workplace influences how he is perceived by those he leads. Leaders who show their employees that they share roughly the same world view demonstrate not only empathy but also get people to listen to them and look up to them. Earning trust and appreciation feels good, as does feeling in command of a situation through worth and competence. Getting the warmth-competence and love-fear dynamics right may be a tightrope walk at the outset, but once warmth and love are established, strength ceases to be menacing and becomes reassuring.
